Historical Hate part 1

Exactly 113 years ago the first "official" Olympic Games were held.
The Romans banned it over a thousand years earlier deeming it "pagan"
(thanks a lot Constantine).

Now, since you will never have any incling of athleteic ability,
I thought I would give you some examples of possible Olympic events that
you could atleast not ebmarrass yourself with. None of these games are
offically sanctioned by the Olympic committee but I assume that your
complete lack of self awareness would create a situation that the
committee would grant your wish just to keep you out of their bussiness.



Olympic Events you are worthy of

-Get punched in the neck ball
-shave your legs ball
-fail an entrance exam-athon
-make your parents hate you-athon
-pass a drug test-athon (not because of your moral fiber but cause nobody
would waste their weed on you)
-lose ball
-miss ball
-feed a cat ball
-Keep the beer gut-athon
-stiff the waitress-athon
-look pathetic-athon