interview

I'm happy to say that your application
has been denied.


Your resume was relatively impressive
but you just bombed the interview.

And all your references gave you awful
remarks. It got to the point where
we had to end the conversation because
the reference started to give
incriminating information concerning
you.

Saftey

I used to slow down in constrution zones.


But ever since I heard that you we're considering
working for MODOT. When ever I see roadwork happening
I put on a blindfold and start swerving.

I also put spikes on my bumper.


I am facing up to 15 years in prison because of this
habit.


...............Worth it

T Pain

Your speaking voice needs auto-tune.









You need a producer for a speech.

Your quite a thinker.....

I dedcided today that your a pretty smart
person.



I mean, anybody who is smart enough to
recognize that they have below average
intellegence should be commended for
said observation.


Here's to you; the next Rhodes Scholar!

Historical Hate part 1

Exactly 113 years ago the first "official" Olympic Games were held.
The Romans banned it over a thousand years earlier deeming it "pagan"
(thanks a lot Constantine).

Now, since you will never have any incling of athleteic ability,
I thought I would give you some examples of possible Olympic events that
you could atleast not ebmarrass yourself with. None of these games are
offically sanctioned by the Olympic committee but I assume that your
complete lack of self awareness would create a situation that the
committee would grant your wish just to keep you out of their bussiness.



Olympic Events you are worthy of

-Get punched in the neck ball
-shave your legs ball
-fail an entrance exam-athon
-make your parents hate you-athon
-pass a drug test-athon (not because of your moral fiber but cause nobody
would waste their weed on you)
-lose ball
-miss ball
-feed a cat ball
-Keep the beer gut-athon
-stiff the waitress-athon
-look pathetic-athon