I'm starting to hate this blog.









You must be responsible

cover band

Your in the worst cover band in the world.


You can't even pick good songs to destroy.

Your famous..........finally

I found you in the dictionary.


Congrats

Injury

Today I went to the doctor to
get some x-rays on my ankle that
I injured during a pick up basketball
game.


I am sharing this with you for two reasons:

1) I take pity on you because you will
never have this experience. And no, I'm not talking
about an ankle injury.

2) You need to be reminded about how little
athletic skill you possess.



Get a job.............or some confidence.

You made this post bad!

Speechless

I can't seem to think up any new ways to
communicate my disdain for you.


It's probably because you have bad teeth.

Memories

I watched some old home videos
of you.

I am concerned that you might have
been the ugliest child I have ever seen!

And you might be asking yourself, how many
children have you seen? Well, I have worked
in the daycare and photography industries for
over ten years.

You do the math.



It's okay, you grew into yourself.........ha I can't lie.

interview

I'm happy to say that your application
has been denied.


Your resume was relatively impressive
but you just bombed the interview.

And all your references gave you awful
remarks. It got to the point where
we had to end the conversation because
the reference started to give
incriminating information concerning
you.

Saftey

I used to slow down in constrution zones.


But ever since I heard that you we're considering
working for MODOT. When ever I see roadwork happening
I put on a blindfold and start swerving.

I also put spikes on my bumper.


I am facing up to 15 years in prison because of this
habit.


...............Worth it

T Pain

Your speaking voice needs auto-tune.









You need a producer for a speech.

Your quite a thinker.....

I dedcided today that your a pretty smart
person.



I mean, anybody who is smart enough to
recognize that they have below average
intellegence should be commended for
said observation.


Here's to you; the next Rhodes Scholar!

Historical Hate part 1

Exactly 113 years ago the first "official" Olympic Games were held.
The Romans banned it over a thousand years earlier deeming it "pagan"
(thanks a lot Constantine).

Now, since you will never have any incling of athleteic ability,
I thought I would give you some examples of possible Olympic events that
you could atleast not ebmarrass yourself with. None of these games are
offically sanctioned by the Olympic committee but I assume that your
complete lack of self awareness would create a situation that the
committee would grant your wish just to keep you out of their bussiness.



Olympic Events you are worthy of

-Get punched in the neck ball
-shave your legs ball
-fail an entrance exam-athon
-make your parents hate you-athon
-pass a drug test-athon (not because of your moral fiber but cause nobody
would waste their weed on you)
-lose ball
-miss ball
-feed a cat ball
-Keep the beer gut-athon
-stiff the waitress-athon
-look pathetic-athon

Romeo knows best

I forgot what you name is.


I'm actually really great with names but I
can't seem to remember yours.



Your very forgettable.

Why are you such a tool?

Reason # 5,879



You bought tickets for this




Reason # 5,880



Your convinced that it will be completely different from this

O, it's you!!

I saw you walking to your car today.

You've gained weight, didn't think that was possible.

I guess your a lot more successful then I thought.





Things I thought you could never do

-get a job above minimum wage
-maintain a relationship
-live
-spell your last name
-drive a car without singing
-access the internet
-hug your mother
-go to a night club without being punched in the face



I can defiantly stop thinking about you

Your boyfriend called, he says he wants to break up but he
didn't want to spend time doing it.




That's why he called me......good luck, I guess.











Actually I take the luck thing back.

Your agent called, he says your a no talent.





I love you as much as bone biopsy.

Yesterday

You made me feel stupid today, why would you do that?








Ha, your an idiot to think I was being serious.

You

Your phone is going to drip a lot of calls today,





you pissed off the Century guy.

Black History Month

This will be the worst black history month in the history of all black history months.





and it will be your fault..................so was slavery, white devil!

TODAY

Today will be the worst day of your life.







And all the blame that could be distributed will be thrust upon your weary soul.




For those of you who don't have the literary prowess that I do....it's your fault.